24 Weeks!

24 weeks! 6 months!  Yes, our little baby is now viable and could survive outside of me.  I saw my doctor yesterday and I had a sono.  Her growth is right on, perfectly in the 55th percentile.  She weighs 1 lb. 8 oz. approximately.  And she is no longer breech either.  Yeah!!  My doctor said she could not look any more perfect.  Tracking her growth is so reassuring because if there was a problem with her umbilical cord like last time she would not grow properly.  Umbilical cord problems can be very hard to detect during pregnancy so the best way to judge if the placenta and umbilical cord are healthy is if the baby is growing normally.  And so far she is :) In another month, starting at 28 weeks, my doctor wants me to start weekly Non Stress Tests (NST) and Biophysical Profile Tests (BPT) to monitor her.  The BPT is the test Riley failed at 38 weeks and why we induced her early.  My doctor told me this week that any score less than 8 on that test means the baby needs to be monitored in the hospital or delivered.  Riley scored a 4.  So I am really happy we are doing these every week.  She said, "With a history like yours we aren't taking any chances". She also said, "We will probably have a baby the last week in October because I don't think you want to go all the way to your due date."  She knows me so well. 

So all is going well and my house is a disaster as we pack up and move everything out of the guest room to make room for the nursery.  Maybe some of you second time moms can relate to this or maybe I'm just a weirdo.  But I've actually been a little sad lately when I think about how it's not going to be just Riley and I any more.  As a stay at home mother, it has been primarily just her and I for over three years now.  We are best buddies.  Of course, it probably goes without saying that I am thrilled beyond words to be having another child and I can't wait for this wonderful change to happen and to add another little girl to the mix.  But I also look back at the last three years and all the pain and sadness and the one person who has been with me through it all, seen me on my worst days, inspired me on the days I couldn't get out of bed, brought a smile to my tear stained face many a times, warmed my heart and kept me hoping, sat beside me on the stairs while I cried....the one person who has seen all of that and stood by me through it all is Riley.  She loved me even when I was at my lowest.  No one else witnessed all that, not even Jason.  He saw a fraction of it because he was where he needed to be, away at work providing for us so I can be home with my precious girl. Riley has been such a trooper.  Her first three years of life have not been easy.  She has lost six little siblings and lived through her parent's grief, she has fallen in love with a Mimi she will have to say goodbye to before any child should and she has fought her little tail off to be the non stop little chatter box she is today.  I think love got her through it, my love, Jason's love, the love of so many friends and family and supremely, God's love.  And certainly love is what got me through it, love from all those mentioned above but undoubtedly the love of a little toddler who doesn't judge you for crying, for not showering, for feeding her the same meal every day because you are too sad to even go to the store and cook, who hugs you and cuddles with you, who finally learns to say the word "mama" and lights up your whole world with one sweet little word.  Riley has been that amazing little girl for me for over three years and as thrilled as I am, there is a little part of me that will miss the bond she and I have made during this time when it was just the two of us. 

But we have all worked hard to get this little girl here, Riley included.  Oh the joy she is going to bring, that she already has brought.  Riley deserves this little sister in her life and I know the bond that will form between the three of us will far surpass anything else.   I think this baby is coming no matter what.  She is determined.  I am determined and God has made it pretty clear that He is determined.  So soon, these two best buddies will take a new little girl under our wing.  We will love her and teach her all our ways, like how we love to paint our toes together, try on mommy's make up together, laugh and giggle and tickle together, read stories and bake cookies.  How we love to go to the mall and shop, how we love our girls days out with our best friends Bailey and Bella and Kinley, how we love sleep overs at grandmother's house on the nights when daddy works late.  We love ice cream and princess movies.  We love rocking in the rocking chair even at age three.  We love Barbie dolls and baby dolls and walks to the park on fall days.  To one sweet baby girl, thank you for filling my life with all this joy and for loving me through the pain.  And to another sweet baby girl, we can't wait to share all this and more with you.  Mommy and Riley can't wait to welcome you into our little bond.  We love you always and forever and no matter what.